Tomorrow I have my first real appointment with a dentist in 8 years. I thought I was completely cool with it until I dared to have a real look at my feelings and emotions.
Yes! I am nervous. In the past weeks one of teeth that is going to be pulled started to crumble a little. Although it was a kind of relief since there is now less food that remains stuck in it, I started imagining all kind of nasty cracking sounds the tooth will make when the dentist is pulling the remains of it. Ant those cracking sounds make me shiver, brrrrr!
On the other side, the results of in total three sessions are very appealing. I will have only healthy teeth, no difficult to reach and clean (and not fully grown) wisdom teeth and all old amalgam fillings removed in a non toxic and safe way. On top of that my wobbly bite will be corrected allowing me to chew in a much more effective way, maybe for the first time in my life, leading to a better digestion and a more effective way to digest food.
While searching the web for an image to add to this post I ran into series of ugly and rotten teeth causing me to react in disgust and hope that it is not my mouth that looks that way.
Although I know exactly what is going to happen in my mouth tomorrow, I need to work on a couple of reaction I have and the thoughts I am creating inspired by the subject. In order to prevent my mind to work on the actual teeth pulling and drilling I am pointing out my reactions in the following statements:
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to suppress the feeling and emotions I have related to this dentist visit in an attempt to push away nasty thoughts and not having to deal with them.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create imaginary scenario’s of how the extraction of the tooth will be even if I have no real memories nor experience with it.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to imagine how the extraction will sound and already getting the shivers as a reaction to the imaginary cracking sounds.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to focus on the tooth extraction and drilling and the inconvenient pains afterwards and not really consider that these interventions are going to have a whole series of positive effects on my health and well being.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience fear for the pain I might feel after anesthetics stop working while making this pain something much bigger than the real pain I will have to go through.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react to pictures of rotten teeth with disgust while projecting what I see to myself even though I know that I have no such identical situation as shown in the picture.