Anger and frustration – part 2


healthcheckFor context read my previous blog post. Here I will continue with self forgiveness by looking into the points that opened up in my blog.


Suppression

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to quickly switch to action in the moment I was confronted with my daughter’s problem allowing me to suppress emotional reactions.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deny myself the possibility to be self-honest by immediately going into suppression and denial in the moment I was confronted with my daughter’s form problem and the fact I came home with the wrong GP statement.


Anger

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself, when asked for it by my buddy,  to deny I was dealing with anger as a reaction to the wrongly filled in form and the consequences I would have to walk in order to deal with the situation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to suppress the anger that I felt coming up when my daughter told me about the problem with the wrongly filled in form. I immediately focused myself on the actions to take, not allowing myself to breathe, stop and assess the actual situation and my reactions giving myself the opportunity to see and understand how I stand in that situation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider the anger I felt in the different stages I walked through while dealing with the consequences of the form problem of my daughter as something I should ignore/suppress because I see anger as something bad that reminds me of my father’s anger outbursts.


Fear

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to experience fear when dealing with a situation that threatens the possibility of my daughter having a driver’s license.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to suppress the fear as one of the emotions triggered by the form problem of my daughter.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to having suppressed very quickly the moment of fear when my partner noticed the GP statement was wrong. Instead of giving myself a moment to acknowledge the reactions I had on that specific situation, I quickly concluded I had to go back to fix the situation since I felt responsible for not having been able to see this mistake myself.


Frustration

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to let frustration “eat” me while I know what I can do to track the cause of the frustration and stop the whole thing all together.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start writing a letter to the GP office based on the anger and frustration that I allowed to build up in myself by suppressing my emotions in the first place.


Inferiority

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see myself as stupid and unfit for the task when my partner pointed out the answer provided by the GP was wrong.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the fact I managed to get the requested answer and eagerness to get what we needed to go to the next step and failed to check if the provided answer was OK or not.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of inferiority in the moment my partner pointed out the answer provided was wrong out of a conviction I am not the best person to do these kind of things since they are normally dealt with by my partner.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to doubt I am able to perform any task that is required only because I am making up excuses on why I am eventually not prepared to these tasks, instead of taking responsibility for that specific situation and assess all relevant dimensions and make sure I am properly informed/prepared.


Blame

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have blamed myself that I did not see the GP was writing a wrong statement and even worse that I have not been able to direct the situation so that I could leave with the statement we needed to carry on.

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