The beauty of being self employed

Nice statement, but is it reality? Not for me. I thought I could reach a certain level of independence by becoming a self employed worker. The reality was different. Instead of working for one boss you start working for several contemporarily. I used to tell people that I was happy and never wanted to work for a boss anymore. fantastic bullshit! Instead of having one boss that more or less takes care of you as en employee the self employed man has to take care of himself. He has to ask high prices in order to pay his taxes and bills and still have a living. Especially in a time of economic recession you are a luxury product. Loyalty goes to the employee and not to an external consultant.

When my last contract as an employee ended I told myself that becoming a self employed consultant was the only way of developing my career and skills in the direction I wanted to go. On the other hand I told people I had been forced into that situation and had no choice other than becoming self employed to continue doing the kind of work I was doing.

The reality was that being employed by a company or self employed does not make a real difference. At he end you are working in order to survive by making money. As an employee you get your money every month, as a self employed person you have invoices that are payed after 60 to 90 days, bills to pay and taxes for who knows what. And worse of all, if you ran out of work as an employee you are entitled to get some money from the state, as a self employed you need to have some kind of expensive insurance that will help you through tough times. It is as if it is commonly accepted that self employed people do not need help since they are their own boss.

It’s true, most of the times I don’t have anybody telling me when and how I should do my work.  It is sometimes very difficult to find out or understand what you should do to please your client. And if the client is happy you will get paid. The risk is all yours. However, I’ve seen over the years that when you do your work in a honest way a lot of people at the end will come back to you. But it is a slow process that can take years. It is also a non very profitable approach, I have a lot of happy customers, I do a lot of work but I have barely enough money to live. What am I doing wrong?

A very important point was me understanding that I’ve been separating myself from society over the years, creating an unsustainable situation (see post of 20/1). Now I understand better the mechanisms in society and are fitting back into it making sure to act as much as I can in the interest of all and therefore myself. In a society that is profit driven it is a challenge to stick to this principle and keep on standing for it. But if you do you’ll see it works.

In my daily practice I see that when having to close a commercial deal I am not allowing myself to use deceptive words, false promises, making the other more special than myself or have fear of not going to close the deal because I could not convince the other that I am making the best offer for the best product. I had people that clearly were not understanding what was happening because the process was not as they were used to, but at the end and sometimes a little later, they come back and allow the deal to be sealed with sustainable conditions for both parties.

My experiences of every day makes me stand for equality. Every day I experience the consequences of what I accepted and allowed. Therefore I take, step by step, breath by breath, my responsibility by walking my process of self forgiveness.


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