Yesterday morning I received an SMS from a friend that invited S. and myself for lunch at a local restaurant in occasion of her 50th birthday. Since she had to confirm the reservation at the restaurant she wanted to make sure if we planned to come or not. I was expecitng the question and in my mind I already processed different ways to answer the question taking in account that I didn’t want disappoint her while declining the invitation. Looking at it I asked myself why I did not tell her right away when she invited me last thursday that most probably I was not going to accept the invitation for a couple of reasons… I valued the moment as inappropriate for telling her that we do not really share the passion for restaurants, and that we are not comfortable with invitations where our kids are not welcome. We want to be seen all as equal with no difference between us adults and the children. On the other hand I can understand that for a lunch on a lazy Sunday that can take three to four hours to eat your way through is not the nicest thing for kids anyway. Having concluded this the motivation to say no we are not coming because you did not invite the children was not a fair option.
So, the simplest thing to do is to stick to the truth and the reality, seems simple but it’s hard to keep mind-fucks out of this. So, in my SMS reply I just said the invitation did not match the plans we had for the weekend. In a way it was true, especially on Sunday, being the only day the kids do not go to school, we sleep in a little just to recharge a little more than usual. If you get up late, a lunch in a restaurant eats away almost the entire day. Now we had the chance to do our things as usual and take advantage of the sunny weather to sit outside in the sun for a vitamin D shot.
This afternoon my daughter A was calling her friend MC asking if she could come over to our place. In the garden A and my son J prepared a game with their bikes. It was getting late and A had a couple of conversations on the phone with MC and at a certain point I was asked if we could pick her up. I valued the request for a second and saw no issue in picking her up and bringing her back a couple of hours later. I would have done the same back and forth travel if A had asked me if she could go to MC for the afternoon. Although A told MC there was no issue I was given the phone to speak with MC’s mother T who tried to explain that she was not able to bring her daughter to town because they almost ran out of fuel and had to save that what was left to be able to go to the shed (a few hundred meters from the house) to fetch wood for the stove.
I guessed her husband took the car and that T was left with the Apetto with just a few drops of fuel in the tank. I was surprised when I arrived at their house to find their car was there and the Apetto next to the shed. Not that I really care for the real story behind this, but I am curious to find out what has been the real story behind this. I have a strong feeling there is another reason for not willing to bring MC to town and only because I was not making an issue about the fact I had to travel twice made it possible for the kids to play together.
I can only guess what the true motivations might have been but I’ll wait until tomorrow when I will see T anyway during the weekly French lesson I teach to her and my children.