The moment has finally come that I could register for the DIP. Until now I had several practical reasons why I was delaying my subscription, one of them being the unstable income situation causing me and my family to live a real day to day life. When looking back to the period from april last year until now I see clearly I was living the consequences of what I created myself. By not accepting the rules of the world I am living in in regards to earning money I had slowly isolated myself and as a result I was not part anymore of a working environment that was able to sustain myself and my family economically.
By accepting the situation and being open about the fact I had to live with very little money I managed slowly to re-integrate myself in society and by using my social network I have been systematically building by participating actively to a variety of activities I finally ended in a working situation that has the potential to provide me with the necessary income.
Having had this experience, or better, still living the consequences, made me understand what it means to live at the edge of society and how paralyzing it is when you do not have any money to do essential things that are part of your daily life. It has been a frightening experience on one side but it also showed me that my self continued existing.It made me understand that I failed to take my responsibility towards supporting myself and the other members of my family. It is tough to see that my resistance towards the systems within society and my separation from them slowly brought me in an isolation and unsupportable life situation.
The fact I subscribed to the DIP is a next step into taking my responsibilities for how I am living in this reality since it will support me in finding and using the right tools to walk my process. Thanks to my partner I’ve been shown over and over again what it means to walk you process and to clean up your mess step by step with sometimes small and sometimes bigger steps, falling back, reviewing again until it is done. SInce I started this blog I also began to connect with other Destonians, this on itself already being a particular experience within a community based on equality and common sense. Although I am making the first steps I already experience how constructive the support can be you receive from others.
So, no delays anymore. It is time to take my steps and walk my process!