Time seems to be a difficult thing to manage. It is fascinating and scary at the same time since the way we deal with time depends very much of our state of mind. Ah, there is it again! The mind. I can’t say I am able to properly manage the time I have during a day but I start to be more and more aware of the way I am dealing with time and if I am using it efficiently or not.
It is amazing to see how often you are finding excuses and justifications to delay/postpone things you planned to do. When it comes to time the mind is very resourceful. Unforeseen situations can cause you to adapt your schedule and there is nothing wrong about that. But often we find ourselves to be easily distracted as soon we have to perform tasks we have a resistance for. It happens to me quite often that when I have to perform a specific task that is requiring all my attention or is requiring me to face some ongoing issues I feel sudden sleep attacks or, eventually without even noticing, I will find myself doing other things like reading feeds or other stuff that I can easily be read on another occasion.
It is even more amazing that while getting up early and going to bed late so I have effectively 18 to 19 hours of time a day I still have difficulties to do everything I planned to do. And once I start feeling pressure and complaining about others frustrating my planning things eventually get even worse. If on the other hand I manage to be in the moment focussing on which I am doing, time does not play tricks with me. It is still true that anything you do need is time and that you need to use every minute effectively, the biggest challenge being not to let the mind deceive you with justifications.
Only being more aware of how I deal with time and time related distractions is helping me a lot. It even allows me to close my eyes for a short moment just enough to get back in shape. Although I am not impressed with the amount of work I manage to produce in a day time I am really wondering how I managed to work in the past when I was sleeping longer and spending time watching TV and doing other non productive things.
The fact of sleeping not more than five to six hours a night scares a lot of people out of fear of not being able to rest enough to be fit the next day. My personal experience is the opposite. The longer I sleep, the more tired I feel. I now try to listen to my body when it comes to sleep and it seems it can take these relatively short night without consequences. This in contrast with the mind that is doing all it can to make you feel sleepy.
When today my brother called me today I told him I had no time to talk with him. It should have been enough to propose a timeframe fitting both needs. I wanted to justify my choice not wanting to talk with him in that moment but the truth was I wasn’t ready to talk to a bullshitter.
To make my point I stop here since I can barely keep my eyes open. I will find out if this is the mind playing a trick or if it is real, physical tiredness.