Real or fake sleep?

Today it has been both a nice and a tough day. It was the first day after the holidays the kids went to school again and it was my first official day on my new job. I got up early to fire up the stove and had breakfast. In a quite relaxed way the kids prepared for going to school taking for the first time this year the bus. Until now we brought them by car.

I decided to bring the kids to the bus stop since I had to fill our water bottles at the spring anyway. I came home feeling the same energy I felt when I went out of bed. After packing my computer and preparing my lunch I drove to the office, a drive of about 50 minutes. While driving I still had high spirits and felt quite relaxed, enjoying the landscape and the sun that was peeking through the thin clouds. I even decided to make a small detour to stop at an Aldi supermarket I came across a week earlier driving a specific route to see if it had the same formula as in the Netherlands.

Meanwhile I had started yawning, something I do quite often because of the hight differences in order to pop open my ears. Suddenly I felt something that suggested tiredness. Stupid thing I thought, as if yawning is connected to being tired. While the mind tried to convince me I was tired because I went to bed at one o’ clock and got up early I arrived at my destination and felt the urge for a coffee in order to do something against the sleepy feeling. I installed myself and before I knew I was talking with my colleagues and started doing my work and forgot completely I was feeling tired and in need of a coffee. Only much later a colleague asked if I fancied a cup of coffee which I drank because I like the taste and not to fight sleep.

Everything ran smoothly and I really enjoyed my work I was performing in a relaxed way until I sat next to a colleague at about four o’ clock in the afternoon following the steps he had to do in order to provide me with some requested info. At a certain point he suggested to go back doing my things or have a break since I had started yawning systematically. I was clearly having a so called dip. Since I was not paying any attention to my dip it disappeared as suddenly as it popped up.

While driving home I had to fight against sleep and again I started wondering if this was real tiredness or something of the mind. I was driving in a relaxed way and it seems that when I relax the sleep thing tries to get hold of me. As if it was an idea this whole feeling of sleep vanished and by the time I arrived home I was not tired anymore.

I had dinner and soon after that we had to prepare for the French lesson I teach at one of our friends home to their and my children. We finished at a quarter to eleven and by then I really started to feel tired. This time for real? What is this feeling of being tired? Just a feeling? Most probably it is. But when and how do I know I am dealing with a feeling and not with a signal my physical body is giving me. Certainly something to find out. One thing I know for sure, in the past I would have gone to bed a while ago, now it is half past midnight and, although feeling tired I still manage to write a blog.

This is definitely a point of study since this feeling of sleep is too easy to get rid of to be real tiredness. Although the sleep I am feeling now is probably quite real and my body is going to get some rest soon.



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