fear of yourself
Today I finally managed to hand in my assignment for lesson 4 of the DIP course, almost a week late and probably not good enough to go for the next lesson without having to rework on some items.
The path I followed until today has been hazardous! I started this month planning properly my lessons and dedicating enough time to read and view the materials, until I had to do my assignment. I’ve been staring at the document I had to work on several times, and most of these times I don not even recall what really caused me to get distracted and start doing other things, worse of all, have to fight sleep attacks so bad that on a couple of occasions I woke up with a shock.
Nevertheless I managed to focus on the assignment a couple of times successfully and I could establish that it was not as difficult as I thought. I even decided to redo part of the previous assignment to complete it with more details I could use in my new assignment.
Meanwhile the end of the month came closer and the work related tasks were piling up against their deadline. This caused a critical situation in which I had to properly manage my time. At first it seemed everything was happening at the same time. Several projects for work, the vegetable garden in constant need of attention, all kind of extra trips due to the exams of A. and to finish it all a crash of my computer.
In order to handle the situation properly I had to slow down, take a step back and look at what I was doing. Not difficult to do but apparently there are all kind of systems that are preventing me to make this easy step. Finally I managed to find a balance again and I experienced only a little resistance when I worked on my assignment.
I am aware I am still at the beginning of a long proces sand far from being honest to myself. My awareness however is growing from day to day and allows me to be conscious of lot of mechanisms in my own life. That is an essential step in the process of freeing yourself. There is no room to hide from anybody and mainly from yourself.
Although far from an ideal situation I see I am walking the steps that will finally lead to freeing myself from the mind. Want to free yourself? Join me and walk the process with me and many others, join Desteni.